Feeling Anxious!

This Wednesday is a big day for our family, as that is when I will have a surgical procedure done to stitch my cervix (more on that later.) I'm not feeling so anxious about the particular procedure as I am just about my pregnancy in general. I've come to the sad realization that I will never have a "normal" pregnancy. This weekend, my thoughts have been completely consumed (day and night!) by thinking about my "high-risk" pregnancy. You see, after my experience with Brecken, I assumed that in a future pregnancy it would be a "normal pregnancy" as long as I made it to full-term and had a healthy baby that didn't need to be hospitalized long term. I am now realizing that whether I make it full-term or not, my pregnancy will not be "normal." For one, I am having surgery on Wednesday and having surgery (although it's a low-risk procedure) is NOT normal during pregnancy. Two, I am labeled "high-risk" on every medical form out there, which is again not normal. Three, with my first pregnancy my cervix completely vanished without me having any idea. Therefore, this time around now that I just ended the first trimester, I will now be extremely nervous about every tiny little pain or new feeling. With every little pain or change, I will wonder...is that signs of pre-term labor, should I call my doctor, or are these just typical pregnancy aches and pains? Also, what if I end up on bedrest again? This time around I have another child to worry about and I won't be able to even lift him if I end up on bedrest. For these reasons, my pregnancy will not be "normal" no matter what the final outcome and for some reason that is making me extremely emotional. This weekend I have broke down in tears multiple times for no apparent reason (which I know is common in pregnancy but it's definitely exaggerated by all of these crazy thoughts and emotions regarding my high-risk pregnancy.)

Now back to my surgical procedure...this coming Wednesday, February 29, D.J. and I will head down to Abbott-Northwestern hospital in Minneapolis (same place I stayed for my 5 weeks of bedrest with Brecken), where a perinatologist (high-risk OB Dr) will stitch my cervix through a surgical procedure called cerclage. It's a same day procedure, so I should be home by the evening hours. I'll spare you any more medical details...if you really want to know more, just google "cerclage." I was initially thinking that I would be put under for this procedure, but I'm starting to think that I just misinterpreted the doctor. In one of my sleepless nights, I researched more on the Internet about the procedure, and I'm pretty sure that I will receive a spinal anesthetic but that I will still be awake, which would make me feel a lot better. People were getting freaked out when I told them that I'd be put under (which in turn made me quite nervous!) I have a final ultrasound/check tomorrow morning with the doctor that will be doing the surgery, so I'll get clarification then. Any way, back to the procedure. Again, I'm really not that nervous about the procedure. When they perform the surgery at this gestational stage, it is pretty low-risk. They of course had to warn us of the risks (they can cause an infection in the uterus or rupture my bag of water), but the chances of these things happening are very minimal, and I'm really not worried. Every doctor I've talked to has agreed that in my case the benefits FAR outweigh any risks, and I trust these doctors 110% . After all, this group of doctors is the one that made my contractions stop and kept me pregnant with Brecken for another 4.5 weeks after my hospital admittance. The only other sort of "risk" in the procedure it's possible that they may not get the stitch placed correctly, which means it wouldn't be effective at holding my "incompetent cervix" together to help me get closer to full-term. I will have a check-up one week after the procedure to make sure that the stitch is right where it is supposed to be, and I will be monitored very closely for the next several weeks as well.

Even though I have been extremely anxious about my pregnancy lately, I still do believe with all of my heart that God is in control which definitely brings me peace (it's just that sometimes my emotions get the best of me ;) We sang this song for closing at church today, and it was a great reminder that I need to quit worrying so much and just trust Him.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_KPBrTerDM

Oh Lord my God in You I put my trust
Oh Lord my God in You I put my hope
Oh Lord my God in You I put my trust
Oh Lord my God in You I put my hope

CHORUS:
In You In You I find my peace
In You In You I find my strength
In You I live and move and breathe
Let everything I say and do
Be founded by my faith in You
I lift up holy hands and sing
Let the praises ring!

Well enough venting (I do feel better just expressing all of my emotions :) I better get to work. I have TONS of work to do for school...catch up on grading and finish writing 3.5 days worth of detailed sub plans for this week (I have to stay home with my feet up for a couple days following the procedure.)

BIG News!

This is Dr. Brecken, and he says there's a baby in Mommy's tummy! And YES, he is absolutley right :) We're happy to announce that we're expecting Baby #2 - due date is August 27th, so I'm 13 weeks. (Maybe this will be my excuse as to my lack of blog posts because I have been absolutely exhausted lately.) I really can't complain though because I haven't had any morning sickness and the fatigue has just recently started to improve some too :) We are very excited to add to our family, but we're definitely nervous too since most of you know that our first baby was born 3-months premature. They of course are taking lots of precautions now that they are aware of my situation, but there is never any real guarantee. We trust that God is in control no matter what, and we know that He will be with us through whatever might come our way. They say I have about an 80% chance of making it to 36-37 weeks (Due date would be 40 weeks). I have to remind myself of this fact often when I start to get nervous. I am all over the place with my emotions (Hmmm...maybe those pregnancy hormones are to blame for some of that ;)...one day I feel completely at ease with the pregnancy, and the next day I'm a nervous reck. We would greatly appreciate any prayers for comfort, peace, and a healthy pregnancy :) Thank you and God bless!

Brecken can be so funny!

Brecken has really started to talk a lot more lately - more phrases/sentences instead of just a couple of words, and boy is he hilarious! He frequently makes us laugh out loud, and I just had to share the funniest thing I can remember from the past few days... I put him on his potty after breakfast yesterday morning, and as soon as he sat down, he looked at me and said, "I need book, please!" HAHAHAHA! I definitely laughed out loud. (It's funnier in person!) I did do just that and went and got a book to read to him. As soon as I finished, he said, "Different book." The funniest thing is that I don't think he's EVER seen anyone read on the pot, so I just have no idea where he got his from. I guess maybe males are just born reading on the pot? Hope this made you smile a bit. I'll do a Christmas post soon hopefully.

A Catch-up post

Well it's been awhile since I've posted...lots has been happening, but I just don't find the time to write as often as I'd like. In my last post on Halloween, Brecken had come down with another fever and high cough. His fever improved after a couple of days, but his cough continued to get worse despite the instructions from the pediatrician to start the Albuterol nebulizer treatments at the very fist sign of cold/congestion symptoms. I took him to the pediatrician again that Wednesday, and thankfully his lungs were still sounding clear. However, since the Albuterol didn't seem to be doing enough to prevent the upper respiratory troubles, the dr. came up with a new plan. She said that if we have to use the Albuterol as often as we have been this fall, Brecken will eventually be less responsive to the drug and we won't have it when we really need it. She recommended starting him on a different nebulizer medicine once a day to prevent respiratory problems. With all of Brecken's respiratory illnesses (one late last spring and 2 already in October), she said he is border line being diagnosed with asthma. This new medicine should hopefully prevent him from having more respiratory illnesses documented in his chart, which will prevent him getting the "asthma" label. For now, he's just listed as having "Reactive Airway Disease" which is essentially asthma type symptoms triggered by colds or allergies. So this is the new addition to our nightly routine:

Brecken is such a trooper with his daily neb treatments. He often insists on holding it himself :) I was quite hesistant about putting him on this daily med, but after further research we decided it is truly what is best for Brecken right now. It seems to be doing the trick, and he's been healthy for a full month now...hallelujah!

In more exciting news, we've had a busy few weeks. Here are some pictures from our recent fall events.

One last trip to the park

My friend, Steph's, wedding 11-19-11

Snow!

Thanksgiving with the Hoelscher/Schmidt family

Peek-a-boo! (Christmas tree box)

Brecken helping to decorate for Christmas ;)

In case I don't get a chance to write before Christmas, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! May the miracle of Christmas fill your heart with warmth and love!

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween! Our little lion was sick, so we didn't get to go trick-or-treating :( We were really bummed (well mostly Mommy and Daddy since Brecken doesn't know much about it yet.) He has even been practicing his lion roar and saying trick-or-treat, but I guess we'll have to wait another year. Although I do plan to bring him over to a couple of our neighbors later in the week once he is feeling better. He came down with a pretty high fever yesterday afternoon and has started coughing again. The dr. told us earlier to start the nebulizer at the first sign of any respiratory issues and so far that seems to be keeping things under control. We're thinking it's probably just a virus because there was a girl at daycare last week that had similar symptoms and was out for several days. Anyway, enough on our little sicky. Here are some Halloween pictures...

Vocab. Parade at school - check out those lovely pants

Mommy made Pumpkin Pancakes for Breakfast on Sunday

Carving with Daddy

Poor Brecken - sick on Halloween

Brecken is a Big Boy

I have suddenly realized that Brecken is really growing up... About a month ago we converted his crib to the toddler bed, and recently we have packed away the sippy cups and high chair and took down our baby gate. Wow, Brecken is definitely not a baby anymore. How did this happen...where does the time go? I have to say though that I just love the age he is at right now....he's just getting to be so much FUN!

Concordia Homecoming 2011

Last weekend we headed up to Moorhead for Concordia's Homecoming. This year we stayed with the Endreson family (DJ's friends from college), and we had a GREAT time! Saturday morning we went to the parade, which was lots of fun. The rest of the weekend the kids just played together - the highlight was probably the bouncy house they had. Here are some pictures...

Tenley (1), Brecken, Kaycee (5)

All done

My friend, Amanda, and her fiance also joined us at the parade, and it was so great to see them too! After the parade, we had lunch at Panchero's, and then it was nap time for the 2 younger kids. During nap time, I went to meet up with another college friend, April, and it was great to catch up with her as well! Sunday, we left right after lunch and we were able to make a stop at Lake Osakis to see Grandma & Grandpa Hoelscher.

This weekend, DJ and Brecken went up to Browerville so DJ could do some work on his deer stand. I have the house all to my self and am getting caught up with pictures while Mama Mia is playing in the background :) Tomorrow my goal is to wash windows and get a bunch of school work done, then possibly meet my mom in the evening to go shopping if the boys aren't home yet. Hey, I have to sneak in a little fun while the boys are gone ;)

2 year Check-up and more...

Brecken had a great 2-year check-up with his pediatrician a couple of weeks ago...He weighed in at 28 pounds exactly (50%) and was 35 1/4 inches (73%)! What happened to our little peanut?

Last weekend we went to a Corn Maze for some fall fun. They also had a petting zoo, corn pit, and giant slide. It was LOTS of fun and here are a few pictures.

Corn Pit

This weekend was unfortunately not so fun...Brecken was sick (with Bronchitis!). He started with a little cough here or there around Tuesday last week. Then Thursday I got an e-mail at work from his daycare lady saying that he wasn't feeling that great, was crabby, and just not acting at all like the normal Brecken, but he didn't feel warm and she didn't think it was anything too serious. Well Thursday night he had a fever of 101 and was up coughing throughout the night. So on Friday afternoon DJ took him into the pediatrician and they did a chest x-ray because his cough sounded so terrible. The radiologist wasn't available right then so the dr did her best to read the x-ray and said she saw a little cloudiness which was likely the start of Bronchitis. She didn't want Brecken to have to wait through the weekend to get the official word, so she started him on the Z-pack (Zythromax) and said to give him nebulizer treatments every 3-4 hours, as needed. Saturday morning I got the official x-ray results online and found out that he indeed did have Bronchitis and possibly the very beginning of pneumonia :( Overall, he's done really well and is still his happy, silly self. We've actually had a hard time keeping him mellow so that he can better. He just wants to keep go, go, going! The nights have been another story...when he lies down, he coughs, and coughs, and coughs! It's been almost like having a newborn again with the amount of sleep we've been getting around here :( The dr. said to call on Monday if he's not doing a lot better. I have to call to get a refill for the nebulizer anyway (since we're still using leftovers from when he was just a few months old), so I think I'll also let her know that although his fever is gone, his cough is pretty much the same as it was on Friday :( Here's to hoping for a better night's sleep before the work week (and I'm getting observed tomorrow - nice timing ;)

Another Great Recipe

Cheesy Pasta Bake:
http://www.kraftcanada.com/en/recipes/cheesy-pasta-bake-126141.aspx?cm_mmc=eml-_-rbecaen-_-20110831-_-1114&cm_lm=A83DCDF268B3E4886D7F26A3D07FD9BC

Brecken's 2nd Birthday

I'm a couple days late, but Happy Birthday, Brecken! I can't believe our little peanut that started at just 2 pounds is now a big two-year-old! On his birthday, it's incredible to remember the journey he has had. I look at him on his 2nd birthday and just cannot believe that he was born 3 months early, yet never had a single surgery, and he is a completely normal two year old in size AND development. We are just so thankful that he his able to live a perfectly normal life. Miracles DO happen, and we are so grateful that God blessed us with a huge miracle!

Here are a few pictures from his birthday party with the family, last Sunday, 9/18.

It was a full living room!

Cake made by Great-Grandma Schmidt

And here are a couple pictures from his actual birthday:

Baseball cake that Mommy made

He ate a whole piece of cake!

 And a little video :) You'll have to pardon my singing!





Oh, and his daycare lady e-mailed me this picture from his lunch party with his daycare friends -